as of today, mt status is upposedly already in hq rsaf in mindef. but my enitk, he wanted me to stay at least till the end of the week, giving me more time here. when he asked for tat, the reply was tta i dun have to report to that new unit today. together with me, there's another guy from my unit who is also posting there at the same time. okie. we all dislike him so much, we cant care less about him. n so we din report today. but coupled with tat, i was told to stay in the unit till further notice, while he's going to report there on monday. wat a change of things the past wk eh? very interesting. now my status is actually quite unknown. oh well.. i'm supopsed to b a clerk in this other department (for those army guys, i'm supposed to b in the orderly) but when i asked my oc, he gave me a choice to stay in this department of go over to the orderly. i gave a firm answer to stay in this department. he said okie n he will tell the manpower officer of tat decision. i guess he's the one who is trying to keep me here as there is really a shortage of manpower. it's working to my advantage. this monring when i reported there, the feeling was so weird. i mean i feel a sense of belonging or rather familiarity in the current department i'm in. oh well...

wkend is ard the corner yet again... wat m i goin to do leh? more driving lessons yet again. no choice. i wan my license soon! will have a family lunch i guess on sunday coz my brother juz came back from aussieland! other than tat, mayb catch a movie on sat? definitely not clubbing thou. quite sianz of it. wat if i see my brother? no interested man! gd deterrent from clubbing, HIM! our age gap is quite huge. 8yrs. dun really wan to see him outside. but he's still a gd big brother. will take care of me. i guess it's becoz he takes care of me tat sometimes i yearn for pple to take care of me too.. oops....

yet another nite in bunk. thank god for my bunkmates coming back early.. so it was really fun to haf them ard... laughing n joking. but to me, it was quite a shocking day yesterday.

after i've entered my entry, life juz has it's way of playing with you. my s3 (the 2nd biggest shot in this unit, who is also my former in-charge), walked past me n told me tat i'm leaving this unit soon n i'll b posted to HQ RSAF which is in mindef, bukit gombak. b4 knowing my posting, my family and i were hoping tat i get posted to HQ ADSD coz it's in yishun n relatively nearer to home. then today, the date was known. n so i'll b posted to my new unit with effect of friday. my 1st day there. woah. really short notice eh? dun wan to tink how life can b over there. when i'm there, u guys can even expect me to b online every single nite. since i can stay out now but it's still far...

really dunno how to feel....

yesterday was such a boring day. imagine myself being alone in bunk after last parade. i erally wanted to make use of the opportunity to try n organise my life. but i dunno where to start from. quality time for oneself is little when u r in army. coz every other moment of ur life in camp, will definitely haf someone else to look at ur every move, or b in the same area as you. BUT i still din noe where to start, so ineffective personal time! juz spent my time watching tv n stoning. how happening rite?


cant really stand the rules of the army. another group of pple in my unit, were given 2 weekend confinement becoz they din greet someone of higher rank. to me, i respect. i dun juz greet for the sake of greeting. my attitude towards tat was reflected one day when i wrote this quote in my office for everyone to see : "Rank is what you wear but respect is what you earn." there r pple whom i dun at all respect here. sometimes i get carried away calling pple who's rank is a little higher than me (eg. me lance corporal but they a 3rd sgt - 2 ranks above mine). but sometimes pple of higher rank who happens to b nearby would comment tat during office hours, i shld addres them by rank. n with that comment, it often follows by : "eh he's ur frd huh?" sometimes i really wan to tell them tat i'm sorry but i have frds while u dont. i'm sorry that i can make frds while on a job. at least these frds will have a diverse background in the future n i can use tat as an advantage but urs, can only b found here. who knows how many opf tose have already backstabbed u? me being a nsf, juz need to serve finish my liability n get out of this place. generally, pple who r nsfs, tend to look after each other. unless some serious attitude prob from one party. me being in the air force, really different from other arms of the army. army (land) has very strict regimentation... cant really compare. actually m quite glad i'm here.

looking at my post 6 days ago, i hope to make tat a routine thou. quite successful till now. been doing my routinal jog on sunday. thou yest's jog wasnt the best i ever had, i guess i was quite tired from sat's gym session. the funny thing is tat i din club on sat n yet m quite tired.

every wkend, i haf the mandatory 2 driving lessons. i mean if i dun haf my drivign lessons during the wkends, when can i haf it then? would hope to get my license by the end of the yr. quite on track thou. you wont not know wat can happen when u take ur practical test. everytime i look at the screen n see my name together with car 73, i will tink to myself, dammit, it's him again. he's the 11 fingers instructor, or so i call him (in my mind tat is). he has 2 thumbs on his right hand. okie i'm not discriminating him for that. juz tat he's my 1st instructor n i dunno why but i feel quite stressed up learning driving under him. thou sometimes he try to lighten the mood while driving, i dun quite find his jokes funny. i got him again on saturday. driving was terrible! goodness.... but on sunday, i had an altogether different instructor. *till saturday, all my lessons, i only had 2 different instructors. they juz keep rotating* but sunday's lesson was good. really learnt. he was quite nice too..

my brother will b back in singapore after missing singapore for more than 1yr n half. the best thing is he's back on my mum's bday! i guess i should wrap my brother up so tat he can b the best pressie my mum ever had? she misses him alot. i remember earlier this yr, the whole family went over to aussieland, melbourne to look for him to celebrate chinese new yr together as a family, my mum jokingly said, : "hope u dun mind that these few days i'll gif him more attention n treat him beta." one day i was talking to my mum n told her not to worry if she's going to treat him beta the time when he's back. neither will i b jealous. haha..

mondaY... BORED. cant wait for the wkend to come again. but then again, wat to do then? hmmm... driving again n then wat? hmmm...

TGIF!!! hurray! home sweet home! this week, i have to say, is my best week ever since the day when i reached this period of uncertainty for my future. almost every other day, i've been working out. juz look at my previous entry. everyday i will update my progress.

yesterday it was my division's anniversary. for all those who din noe, i'm from the air defence system division aka ADSD. it's HQ is in Chong Pang. so yesterday's celebration was an uphill run at mindef there. woah.. i used to always go there for outfield exercise n noe the trouble the vehicle has when it travels uphill. din noe how it feels to get up the hill by myself until yesterday. damn steep. but in tune with my current mission which is to try n b more athletic, i ran up the hill.. wat an achievement for me. for the fact tat i tot i can juz walk up. one of my frd started running n i tot, mite as well since there is company. but note tat i'm actually downgraded to pes c9l3 (which means i dun ever haf to do ippt again nor go outfield becoz of my back prob). running at one pt of time in the future was not favourable. tat's y when i ran past my s3 (some bigshot in camp), he asked me, "eh u can run ah?" i juz answered tat i'm joggin lo. he's like so weak. haha. oops =p .. but i did run almost the whole leg of the uphill run. one thing i cant stand was that there was a lack of food at the event. dinner was promised to everyone who was there. even thou so many pple had left the place prior to the dinner, dinner was still a shortage. neva angry a hungry man! haha. but my unit's officers were quite helpful in tat sense tat they try n sourced for food. n eventually the news even went up to the biggest shot of all, the division commander. thou it was promised tat more food will come, it was in such a small serving tat it was enuf also. gosh...

enuf of bitching for yesterday. if u were present, i could juz blow steam right out of my mouth. haha..

today m having long wkend.. so already planned to catch a movie in town. m going to catch "brotherhood".. hurray! oh yeah it's my mum's bday next thurs. hope i can actually try n cook up a storm on sun afternoon b4 driving lesson. m going to get a cookbook n try n do something.... hehe.. cant wait!!

another 4 more days n home i'll b. I MISS MY BED AT HOME! one of the things i miss from home. the other, is a person, my mum... miss her dearly. yesterday i went for medical appt, meaning i din book in on sun nite but instead i stayed home for another nite (n sleeping on my queen size bed. army is so terrible to gif me such a small bed n that spells - cramp!). my mum woke me up at 7am. n she left the house at about 8am... but b4 she left, she gave me a hug. i'm actually missing that feeling.. hah.

haven read other pple's blog in a while... PS, wat's going on man? sounds quite happening eh ur life? must stay home sometimes. i'm sure u can find joy in staying home... i do tat sometimes. to me it's a santuary. a hiding place from ALL evils of the world.. *evil laughter muahahaha...*

This week, i call it the physical training week. coz i wan to commit myself to getting into shape. itinerary for this week (180704 - 250704) :
sun - cardio
mon - rest
tue - cardio
wed - gym
thu - cardio
fri - rest
sat - gym
sun - cardio

wow.. it's been a while... hey PS, nice seeing u today. yes we shall hang out soon ya. interesting looking hair u haf there. bright yellow shirt.

been spending alot while being in camp. thank goodness tat i still have my combat pay to offset some of my losses. ha. being in camp doesnt mean i will spend little. there is this thing called nites out. so being in camp, my bunkmates get bored easily n wanna go out, even if juz for dinner. if one of us din wan to go, they will get even more bored. being kind, i din wan to disappoint them, thou sometimes i really dun wanna go out n waste money!

over the weekend, i was talking to my frds. n kinda got me thinking. i'm sure many of us have ever been in love. okie. mayb the degree of "love" is too strong. many of us have ever dated someone else. someone whom u tink u wanna noe more, noe more of tat person. if things work out, then the possibility of going furthur together is higher. what i'm going to talk about is the ending part of the relationship. breaking up.

there's something i was pondering upon yesterday. ask urself this. when you break up, does it affect u tremendously? or does it affect u at all? if it doesnt, how r u to say tat it was a relationship? so when u r dating someone, did it hurt when things dun go the way u wanted it to (meaning from it being a date to a relationship). but since it aint a rship, how come it hurts so much?

juz think about that..

friday, finally but i'm not having long wkend. so meaning i can only enjoy myself after knocking off from work on sat noon. boohoohoo.... another thing to b annoying me is tat i'm sick!! feeling very terrible now... flu n lightheadedness.. terrible!

080704 - date of this day. i cant help but feel dejected. the idea of frds, very distant, very annoying. this following poem, meaningful. touching. nowadays i'm a sucker for emotional lit.

Have you ever felt like you knew someone a long, long time ago?
Another place, another time, a friendship of the souls?
Two people who share a bond for reasons neither know,
A feeling that they were friends, a long, long time ago?

Did they stumble onto each other by pure circumstance,
Or was it fate and destiny that played a certain hand?
Two souls intertwined, they are worlds apart,
But the soul, it knows no difference, in matters of the heart.

Somehow they are drawn together, fate has brought them back,
Each living worlds apart, they journey separate paths.
When this life is over, and a new life begins,
Their souls will find each other, two souls that we call friends.

the idea of frdship, i've always pondered on how would one define who is frds who aint. recently i've been quite disappointed with this group of pple, of which some i tot were frds. being superficial is wat they do best. i cant stand tat anymore... i wonder... how many pple have made me a frd bcoz of tat reason. over n over again i've talked about this issue. but actually speaking, those who r have this link to read from, i dun tink you guys r not superficial to tat extent eh?

everytime i'm saddened by something in the outside world, i'm always glad to come back to camp. to a world i'm familiar with. to a world i noe i can smile freely in. to a place whom i know pple r not superficial, for we r juz here to pass tat 2 yrs of our lives (for those nsf).

often i've read mails detailing how frdship can b explained.

friend, noun.
1) A person whom one knows, likes, and trusts.
2) A person whom one knows; an acquaintance.

i dun quite agree with tne 2nd definition. an acquaintance. remember the times back in primary school, when u haf different levels of frds. good frds, best frds, frds. to me, i only haf frds, acquaintances, strangers.

Love Is ...

Love is the greatest feeling,
Love is like a play,
Love is what I feel for you,
Each and every day,
Love is like a smile,
Love is like a song,
Love is a great emotion,
That keeps us going strong,
I love you with my heart,
My body and my soul,
I love the way I keep loving,
Like a love I can't control,
So remember when your eyes meet mine,
I love you with all my heart,
And I have poured my entire soul into you,
Right from the very start.


what a nice poem. i'm in the mood for love, after i've finished watching a movie last nite. i caught "windstruck" - the latest korean movie. thou it's similar to the previous movies by the same actress or actor, but i have not seen them so i cant comment on them. but i tink in my life, i hope i can b in love at least once like they did. juz go n catch it. u mite find it draggy in the end but do put urself in their shoes. to enjoy love as it is.

now i haf a question. is love commercialised? or rather, has movies romanticized us? are we under the influenced tat love should b like tat? after watching movies like "windstruck" or "turn left, turn right", do we wan to b in their shoes? it was one of my gp topic of discussion back when we were in school. we were talking about the effects of mass media. do u agree tat many of us haf been under the influence of mass media to change our perception? to some extent, some pple have divorced coz they do not feel the chemistry, the romance tat they have earlier perceived from the movies. we human beings r easily influenced. esp in this age where information is at it's fastest n wif more information, one will stand on higher ground. how do we get these information, by reading, by hearing, by seeing. how do we do tat? thru mass media. once we r used to do that, we tend to keep doing it. read more (books, newspaper, mags...), watch more (tv, movies...), hear more (music, radio..).

i shant turn this into a GP essay. i'm not even close to being gd at formulating arguments. but tat's how i feel for today... wink

monday... feeling very tired. din haf enuf sleep on sat as i was out the whole nite n woke up early coz i wanted to catch some sun b4 my driving lesson on sunday morning. so slept at 5.30am n woke up at 10am. was so tired tat i keep sleeping in the bus or train. to top it up, i was at the gym b4 i left to book in n worked quite hard. hope to get results. (so tat my pre u sem frds can stop saying tat i keep touching my chest even thou there's nothing there). was so afriad tat i mite oversleep n miss my stop n tat would b worse. din also haf a gd sleep last nite. mayb 2 nites on my own bed caused me to get used to its spring n its size (i sleep on a queen size mattress - coz long enuf for me n good to roll all over at nite). ha

someone juz told me recently: "you are still young. dun b like this 24yo i noe who is already tired by life. dun let that passion die off. you still have a long way to go in life." ever since he said tat to me, everytime i feel down, i'll remind myself of this statement.

wonder wat my mood is? looking at my songlist, mayb can tell u some.

liang jing ru - fly away, fen shou kuai le, yong qi
brian mcknight - win
eva cassidy - what a wonderful world
alicia keys - if i aint got you
harlem yu cheng qing - hai xiao (really liked this song)!!

being in army, many would say, it's time for a boy to grow up to b a man. indeed i'm a man in the army. not a specialist nor an officer. but do i tink i've grown up? dun tink so. but did learn a thing or two about human relations. but something i've learnt is how to control my temper. many would say the reason y i've this temper is becoz i'm a spoilt brat. to some degree i've to agree. juz look at my temper. hai...

i'm very tired.. very tired... tired... tire..... tir.... ti.... t...

friday!! (when i first started typing, i actually type firday. haha... PS, mayb on ur day, n if it's a friday, mayb can declare it's firday! - oops... lameness over here) today i'm leaving camp early coz there's change of command parade by this other unit whom we r sharing the camp compund with. going gym later thou... aching to exercise. this whole world wants to look good. it's very difficult to actually live out from that understanding. whether how much one says tat being superficial is not helpful n should b done away with, he/she cant reject tat it's a way of life. we have been tuned to want to see good things. see things tat r appealing. to change tat perception, pple need to look deeper. (m now listening to Christina Aguilera's "Beautiful")

things to do tis wkend: driving lessons, suntanning, gymming, hanging out with my frds, get a pressie for my godbro n restrain myself from clubbing. anyway my ankle hurts, feels like sprained so hope it's a deterrent from clubbing.

going out on the road for my next driving lesson... i'm proud of myself for only stalling the engine once during my 2nd lesson but something funny happened. my instructor was actually sleeping while i was driving. i take tat as a gd thing meaning when i was driving or braking, it was quite smooth.. hope to do the same this time. haha. but driving on the road, dun play play...

this wk, i was juz pissed at some toot in camp... he's none other than the master in the QM department.... oh well.. must learn to CONTROL... *explodes*

when will b able to live happily ever after? haha..