Utada Hikaru - First Love

Saigo no kisu wa
Tabako no flavor ga shita
Nigakute setsunai kaori
the last kiss
tasted like tobacco
a bitter and sad smell

Ashita no imagoro ni wa
Anata wa doko ni iru n' darou
Dare wo omotte 'ru n' darou
tomorrow, at this time
where will you be?
who will you be thinking about?

You are always gonna be my love
Itsu ka dare ka to mata koi ni ochite mo
I'll remember to love
You taught me how
You are always gonna be the one
Ima wa mada kanashii love song
Atarashii uta utaeru made
you are always gonna be my love
even if I fall in love with someone once again
I'll remember to love
you taught me how
you are always gonna be the one
it's still a sad song
until I can sing a new song

Tachidomaru jikan ga
Ugoki-dasou to shite 'ru
Wasuretaku nai koto bakari
the paused time is
about to start moving
there's many things that I don't want to forget about

Ashita no imagoro ni wa
Watashi wa kitto naite 'ru
Anata wo omotte 'ru n' darou
tomorrow, at this time
I will probably be crying
I will probably be thinking about you

You will always be inside my heart
Itsu mo anata dake no basho ga aru kara
I hope that I have a place in your heart too
Now and forever you are still the one
Ima wa mada kanashii love song
Atarashii uta utaeru made
you will always be inside my heart
you will always have your own place
I hope that I have a place in your heart too
now and forever you are still the one
it's still a sad song
until I can sing a new song

You are always gonna be my love
Itsu ka dare ka to mata koi ni ochite mo
I'll remember to love
You taught me how
You are always gonna be the one
Mada kanashii love song
Now and forever...
you are always gonna be my love
even if I fall in love with someone once again
I'll remember to love
you taught me how
you are always gonna be the one
it's still a sad song
until I can sing a new song

thou the lyrics din make much sense, but i still like it. hardly r there any songs tat talks about 1st love tat doesnt sound like it's puppy love. haha..



Brian McKnight - Win Lyrics

Dark is the night
I can battle the storm
Never say die
I've been down this road before
I'll never quit
I'll never lay down, mm
See I promised myself that I'd never let me down

[1] - I'll never give up
Never give in
Never let a ray of doubt slip in
And if I fall
I'll never fail
I'll just get up and try again

Never lose hope
Never lose faith
There's much too much at stake
Upon myself I must depend
I'm not looking for place ashore
I'm gonna win

I'll stop at nothing
There's still a ways to go, oh
Someway, somehow
Whatever it takes, I know
I'll never quit, no no
I'll never go down, mm, mm
I'll make sure they remember my name
A hundred years from now

[Repeat 1]

When it's all said and done
My once in a lifetime will be back again
Now is the time
To take a stand
Here is my chance
That's why I...

[Repeat 1]

Mmm, I'm gonna win

my frd tot i would like this song hence he sent it to me. wasnt able to fully understand this song until recently. actually not all his songs r likeable. haha. coming back to camp made me feel normal. feel like all the woes tat i was carrying over the wkend had been lifted (at least for now). haiz..

oh next singer i'm going to feature in this blog will b joss stone

Monday. My 1st wish for u guys readin this: May the Monday Blues goes as fast as it comes. today, it din really affect me as much as it usually does. mayb becoz i din haf a gd wkend. din enjoy it as much as i would haf.

since many of u guys readin haf totally no idea wat m i going thru. lets juz say i feel this way becoz of "disappointment". disappointment of myself in many ways. of my future, of my past, of my frds, of my hp bill....

actually coming back to camp made me feel good. brought me back to life. away from things tat had bothered me over the wkend.

juz some info. if things dun go well in the future, i wont b in singapore from next yr onwards. thou it may seem like it's a gd way. to get exposure from overseas, to go n learn to b more independent, to get away from all the different forms of stress from sg. m i able to leave behind all my frds, my family (thou my bro is already there), my life? to start all over again from nothing takes alot of courage. m i able to handle tat? now my thinking has been shifted to dont mind studying overseas. we shall see about the future. it aint perfect!

now looking at my life... this wkend i really learn more about myself. but in turn, i asked myself more qns. wat m i going to do for my future? i haf a lot of qn.

i feel like i'm having 2 different lives. it's very difficult to handle. thank god for i'm strong. or rather weak (dependin on how u see it). weak in tat sense, i do not haf the courage to end my life. strong as in i know one day i'll b fine. jovial as i may b then, things will still b the same as today. wat has happened will not b changed. wat i haf now is my future to mould. but with so many uncertainties in life, how m i to know i'll haf a gd life ahead? i really dunno..... m so lost now.... dun even noe whether will shrek make me laugh? in the 1st place, will i haf company to watch shrek? haiz...

listen to these songs to know how m i feeling:
Brian Mcknight - Win
Luther Vandross - Dance with my father
Utada Hikaru - First Love

hmm... i'm juz sitting down here in front of the computer without any aim. doesnt tat sound familiar? it sounds like my life. seems like i have no aim in life. i really haf no idea wat to do in the future. after i ord from army. wat to study? wat do i really want to study? wat i wanna b in the future? will i b happy? army is supposedly the best time t tink. but all i can do is tink. nothing substantial actually. now... all i can do is tink. but when u tink, everything is built on this perfect world u want it to b. nothing is perfect in this world. nor is anything fair (something learnt in the army).. i cant help but b stopped in my strand of thots. how m i to tink about my future? everyone would wan the best. they would hop they can grad uni with direct honours. they wish they can earn a million by 35years old. they tink of the best possible future. but every thot of how rough life can b? i'll b back later with more of my life... juz some food for thot.

finally it's friday. haha. it seems like tat's how i start my journal entry everytime. haha. oh well... TGIF!! (in case if anyone doesnt know wat does tat mean.. Thank God It's Friday!)

things i'm hoping to do this wkend:
1) catch Shrek2
2) watch The Day After Tmr (everyone seems to b making a lot literary inference to this movie. tat's y i got interested in this movie.)
3) definitely gym
4) shopping (nature's farm - getting creatine. there's 50% discount for tat)
5) mayb see a sinseh for my toe. sill hurting after so long sia.

anyway if u guys read the newspaper or saw american idol on tv last nite, it was fantasia who won the competition. i guess she was juz plain lucky. but it may seem like it's always the underdog who won. juz look at ruben. clay aiken was the clear fav ah. no idea wat happened. fantasia won coz diana went off key juz for a small little part. i could see tat nerves were playin a part in tat. but still, i'll support diana degarmo.

will get back to you guys again coz there r 2 guys beside me reading out loud my entry.

haha,.... juz b4 i was to update my blog, my frd was like giving me attitude coz i din really wanna help him. dunno whether he was joking anot but based on my character, things can go 2 ways. 1) i can go n accompany him to the orderly room to photocopy some documents. he already has someone else to acc him to do so. if i acc him, then things will juz b normal n he will say tat he was joking. 2)based on my attitude n character, i can juz sit here n act innocent n things go negatively. why i know this? it has happened b4 between me n other guys here. so b it. i'm also a stubborn man n a lazy one too.. sometimes kindness r not to b exploited. it's a bad way of working. generally speaking, u can see whether a person is sincere or juz making use of u when asking for a favour. in this case, i tink i will go down after i've finished updating my blog..

it was a long day n i cant wait to head out tonight BUT i will b back in camp, in front of a tv b4 10pm as tat's when american idol will start. the actually singing starts at 11pm.. so for those not home at 10pm, still got time to rush home!! it's such a long day for me sia. but tmr shld b a short one. cant wait for the wkend to come!!!

these days going thru some weird changes in mood sia. one moment i can b quite happy but the other, not.

on sunday, i went to catch troy with a frd. thou tat movie opened for sometime already, it was still crowded at lido. thru'out the movie, my frd was consistently talking to me. the reason being tat he was bored with it. okie... now i know how my frds felt, coz i'm also a chatterbox. anyway, he kept on talking. i had no probs with the movie so was trying to enjoy it. i tink he knew he was kinda disturbing me at the movie when i shifted my rest point from his side (the right side) to my left.. haha... i mean i like him as a person but sometimes i would wanna enjoy the movie. haha. imagine how the studio producers managed to create the whole city of troy... or at least the walls n the place where the king sat to watch the battle right before him. haha... quite weird if i belong to that era... to b the king n sit there n watch his man die while they r trying to protect the city.. there was also a part where he went back to get his first son's body. very cool... haha. i mean he actually went thru all the trouble to try n get his body back. very noble of a father who is also the king of troy. very interesting at how easy it was to kill the knights n warriors from tat era. juz one slit n dead. how? aint them wearing armour? hmm....

but after the movie, i was feeling alright. other than the fact tat my frd din like me pulling his bag as i was trying to tell him tat someone wanted to go 1st. singaporeans these days r getting more n more kiasu.. hope i dun become an ugly singaporean too..

2 long post in a day. juz goes to show how bored i am. haha. and also tat i haf alot to say. guess tat quite true. oh well.... hey peeps.. tmr do remember to catch american idol leh. shld b nice.

had such a terrible wkend. din really accomplish much other than consistently gymming for the past 2 days. body aching now...


oh yeah over here i wanted to mention something... PS thanx for the msg. haha. my toe still hurts thou. but i cant wait for it to recover as i tink i need to do some running. time to train up myself sia.. so as to look gd.. sorry for being so vain but we haf to accept tat this world is very materialistic n superficial. how often pple do look beyond the skin? at least we know for a fact: 1st impressions is mainly of wat u see. with a gd 1st impression, things can start positively.


yesterday i was talking to a few frds. seems like the monday blues was quite bad yesterday. i myself was also affected in a way coz it was the end of my off day n i had to b stuck in camp for the next 2 wks, only bookin outta camp over the wkends as i haf no more duties for the rest of the month. cant wait to hang out with my pals over the wkends. will definitely catch shrek this coming wkend. by hook or crook, the pple i'm catching it with, beta book the tix way in advance. haha..


actually i had an initial draft for my blog. but my com hanged tat day. wanted to dedicate tat entry for american idol. haha.. wanted to say how much i like tat show. cant help it. i'm a music person. thou i wont say i will support any of them at their future record deals, but they did come all the way with the support of american audience. biggest pity was still jennifer hudson. today's newspaper had a couple of pages talking about the show. they did an interview wif simon cowell n he expeted diana degarmo to win. lets see how did she perform on wed n how america votes on thurs.


wait for my next entry ya. mean time, everyone who reads this. trust me at saying tis. each one of u look good when u smile. dun deny the world of yet another pleasant sight to behold. as i was saying initially, being happy n smiley, it projects a positive image of you onto others. pple will also rub off some of the energy tat u emit n feel positive. so go ahead n SMILE =) johnson out...

then was thursday. n it was after i went to the polyclinic to extend my mc. thank god i did tat coz the doc gave me some medicine to reduce the swelling n it did work wonders. now aint swollen. i'm juz waiting for the toe to actually start feeling stronger. u know how weak it can b after it juz got dislocated. ya..

so today is tuesday n yet i'm home. not becoz i got my mc extended again. where got so chao keng? haha.... the reason why i'm home is becoz i did duty on sunday n monday. so i kinda juz came back. upon reachin the northeastline, i was so tired. the train was empty so i dozed off in the train. thank goodness for the fact tat the train stopped at my station for quite a while then i regained consciousness n left the train. haha.... if not i would haf ended up in punggol n haf to take the train back n hope i dun doze off again. ahha...

duty was alright, but i guess the relations btw the 4 of us (coz 4 of us, pple of the same rank, were grouped together for each duty) mite b a bit strained due to gambling. in order to keep ourselves awake, we often play with cards at nite. (my duty requires us to b awake at nite n sleep in the day). so one of my frds lost alot of $. so okie. we were cool to continue playing so tat he can try n cut down the loss. alright. someone lost so much meaning someone else winning much too. i also lost. okie. then we continued playing n the original loser, won n kept winning. but the original guy who won, lost quite a bit n eventually ended in the negative. but the thing about the original loser, he din allow someone else to back out from the game when he din win nor lose anything. in the end, the original winner n the neutral guy lost quite a bit to tat original loser. oh well... eventually i still lost. haha.

anyway becoz of my duty, i have 3 days off. too bad tat i got tat injured toe of mine. coz i really wanted to go n see see wat Mambo nite is all about. but too afraid of the crowd n toe stepping so m not heading there.

today is tuesday. i haf this habit of forgetting which day n wat date it is. haf to constantly remind myself out loud. i haf no plans today. so boring. how i wish i can go out. but by being out, means i haf to spend $$ n i wanna get myself some stuffs this month since there's a bit of allowance (from the army) which i can spend on myself this month. got my ippt silver incentive tat's y. m tinking of changing my style of clothes to this funky one. where the tee shirt has a cheeky msg on the front. coupled with a 3 quarters n shoes with ankle socks or slippers n not forgetting a waist pouch. can u imagine tat? dun need to imagine... alot of guys r doin tat now. i guess i'm a guy who chases the fashion (or try to b cool n in sync with the world. haha)

oh ya... music of the moment - Tata Young "I Believe"

today is thurday but i'm using the net. actually juz now i wanted to post an entry and by then, the time would b quite impossible for me to actually use the net if i'm in camp. i'm at home now. y? coz i've inmjured myself on tues. it was such a suay day.

on tues, i was walking back from the cookhouse within my camp back to my block. so as i was walking, my right ankle gave way. so it felt like i'm goin to sprain it soon. and my left foot already went out for the next step. in order not to sprain my ankle, all my wt is on my left. but the next step went into a small drain in front of me. so the toes there hit the wall. i guess the army sport shoes is very thin n not sturdy, my 2nd toe was dislocated. damn suay lo. was in so much pain. haiz. it took a while b4 someone came n help me. anyway i went to see the medical officer in tengah airbase (which means i haf to wait for transport to get in there). waited for a long long time. then the doc wanted to relocate it himself without any drugs. i was like oh pls. i dun trust u guys. so they decided to refer me to nuh a&e. went there only after noon. remember i dislocated my toe at abt 0740H. efficency of army. goodness... doc gave me mc from tues till thurs. but now it still hurts so later i'm goin to polyclinic to extend my mc. still cant really walk

but i wanna do duty on sunday coz it willl gif me alot of off. n i tink i need those off to rest my feet. these days i've staying at home n resting loh. thanx for frds who bring me food when they visit me. actually only frd. haha. but i really appreciated tat.

woohoo.... finally it's friday! i've waited so long for this day to come. finally i can go home n rest. juz to get away from camp is a bliss!

i cant wait to get out n meet my frds. juz tat's one consideration.. i've overspent this month (oh no!!!).. i'll b broke for this wkend. how now brown cow? pay day is on monday... cant wait. there r things i want to buy thou.

anyway something happening this wkend for me: my bmt platoon is having a bbq at my buddy's place. cant wait to go there n hang out with them. thou the key person of the platoon, my ps, mite nt b going coz he bought a tix to the east side story play... he said he will try n sell away the tix so tat he can go. i do hope he can...

anyway come next wk, i will start my outfield duty. with that means i haf more offs. dear frds, if i haven been meeting you, lets do keep in touch ya...