wat a difference a day made. 24 little hours.

there are some days when 24 hours is juz not enuf for me. mayb it's my attitude for taking things slowly. hence sometimes things dun get going until i'm motivated. when that happens, dont u think time juz passes tat fast?

today is a slow day.

had this conversation with my colleague. he was quite excited by the fact tat NTU is opening up a new course, Aerospace Engineering. He saw the mail late, if not he would have gone for the briefing n get more idea from it. i t was something i wanted to take. but singapore was going to styart it. i know for a fact tat singapore would not be a choice for me as my results were really TAT BAD. wat to do? din realise the need to study hard earlier on in my life until it was 3 months till the exams and it was too late! enuf about then. looking at my godbro's success in that industry, i thot it would be a good path to take. but it was warned that it's a tough subject to master. and my main few concerns in choosing the subject to take : 1) dun wan to waste my parents' money if i dun make it. 2) i wan a good life for myself in the future. for myself and my family. i want to be able to provide. all these thots go thru my mind. now i've fully given up in being an aerospace engineer but will still keep the dream of being a pilot. the course i'll be taking after i've finished with my foundation studies in melbourne is to commerce majoring in accountancy. i'm still not sure. how now brown cow? i need to grow up fast n realise my dream. i was once told. choose a job which u will enjoy doing if not every morning u'll be trying ur best to drag urself to work. i want myself to be happy. to be happy in the things i do.it's not an easy way to go. not many pple now can say tat they love wat they do. i hope i can say tat for myself.

at this point of time, i'm on duty. really bored. doing duty made me realise how slow time can be. almost every nite, i'll be out with my frds, for dinner or games. it's to the extent that my mum nags at me so often, i miss her nagging when she doesnt. hah. i'm quite afraid that i'm unable to settle myself down in time for my studies. my life is just full of fun. having fun. creating fun.

i need to rethink of my goals in life. i really need to ponder on my direction. why do i need to mature fast? i'm 21yo now. gonna be given my key soon. gosh!

lunch time and i'm updating my blog. it has been a while since i last updated it. and the best part is that i'm updating it in my office. for once, we can use the internet com in the office. my chief clerk is not ard if not she's VERY particular when it comes to pple using this com for personal usage. but she's not ard and here i am. haha..

as for my thailand trip, i think i cant get enuf of that place. when my frd asked me to go over in april, i was immediately tempted to head there. why so? things r cheap. i can get free lodging too. free meals mayb? but it's going to be more fun i think. knowing that i've already experience the country on the surface. went to the places of interest like the weekend market, MBK, grand palace and temple of dawn. i really enjoyed myself while looking at the grand palance, temple of the emerald buddha and temple of dawn. wat an experience.. esp when u did all the planning by urself. we did some research b4 we left and used some frd's journal entry as a guide too. it was useful. haha... so we went everywhere by ourself. we armed ourselves with a map, our research and our brains. walked to wherever the BTS train could not go. we do not like to get us jammed in the traffic.

but anyway, when my thai frd suggested that i head to bkk in apr, i was tempted and am planning to go. wat is holding me back in the cash. need some money to get myself the airtix. furthermore since already overseas, another frd from hongkong asked me to go over the hk. if i go there, i think i will come back damn broke. it's 2 shopping paradise with things cheaper than wat we have in singapore.

wasted opportunity. i could not spend enuf time during the past week to go for shopping. alot of places were having the year end sale. now i dun think there's alot of sales as no one have sales at the beginning of the year.

HAPPY 2005 everyone. 2004 was a tough year i think. even right at the end of the year, the tsunami juz have to happen. wat a tragedy! there are alot of ups and downs for me, for all of us. for the 1st 20 years of my life, i have neva come to a point in life where the next decision i have to make will affect my future. but i've decided. I'm heading over to Melbourne, Australia to further my studies. In case if u dun already know, i'm heading over there in july this year for my foundation studies. it was quite sad telling my frds in person that i'm only going to be ard singapore for this half of the year. but i think i wont be missed here. many pple r juz acquaintances, right? so many pple are juz come n go frds. or rather, pple i know. pple we only bother with when we so happen to meet up. which makes me think again. who are my frds? i was juz talking about this thing with my frd. my life seems so sad. do pple actually bothers? i dunno. u should ask urself...

johnson out...

( Resolution for this year 2005: to mature more. to not be a spoilt brat and think that the world revolves ard me. to accept responsibilites of my own actions. to love and treasure the pple close to me. )

realised i'm not here for long? it juz goes to show how much i've drifted away from my former workplace. i cant go back there anymore. i'm a stranger. even thou i was part of them for more than 1 yr. so sad that pple change juz after a few months thou it's yrs we r measuring.

will talk more some other day. many things happened but not the right time to type it all now.

over in november, there is this long long weekend which is accompanied by 2 public holidays. i think the pple who planned the duties did not like me for he planned me for duties on that sunday that weekend. for i have already planned my leave that weekend and medical appointment to truly enjoy this long long break from work!!! wat can i do? i'm not a person who is very willing to part with my money in order to do the things i want. firstly i'm not a rich person (alot of pple have this mispersecption that i'm rich, BUT i'm not).secondly, i will need some money to spend during that weekend too. my 1st plan was to go overseas during that period. i dun mind spending more leave days juz to enjoy myself then. it's not an issue so long i'm enjoying myself. thirdly, if i'm not going thailand, i'm also thinking of going malaysia. my frds originally had this plan of going malaysia for shopping but since like they will b going for a holiday in dec but i should not b able to actually participate. i want to get out of this shit!! how?

many pple's blog is all about their ideologism. what about mine? boring entries about my life. what is there that is interesting about my life? nothing much. what m i proud of? nothing much. sighs...

i must really start to put my mind in the right way. to put my mind straight to finish something b4 going onto something else. look at my driving. i did not plan ahead like what my mum said. i din plan to take my advance theory early enuf and look where i am now... juz one lesson shy of taking the real test. if i had taken my advance theory test, i would have been able to even take my driving test now... such a disappoinment Johnson.

I need to start planning to juz concentrate on finishing an item b4 going onto another issue. my life needs some planning!

life is full of ups and downs.

work is bz as usual but one thing is keeping me going at work. my professional relationship is beta these days with this colleague. we have to work hand in hand these days as we r the only 2 left in the department. yes i do side track at times during work... it was juz attempts to keep in touch with a frd from this other unit. furthermore, his work n mine had some link. yeah.. at least things r beta these days at work (thou there are still stress @ work).

weekend is again starting tmr for me. hurray! juz thot my blog is so boring eh??

this weekend is to try n catch up with my friends. would try n plan to meet some frds up for coffee, shopping n movie! clubbing is bad for health!!

Realised something. i haven update this blog for a wk. need to break a news here.

On sunday, i made a huge decision. i signed up for further studies in melbourne australia. what does that mean? means i wont be as seen on the streets in singapore as often as i do till now. why is it a huge decision? coz it's life altering. life as in my future. i was faced with 2 choices. one was to study in melbourne. the other being sydney. i will admit here. i played alot in jc n din start studying earlier. results wont good to begin with. hence when i head over to aussieland, i will start my studies by completing my further studies. with my results, i could manage the shortest program. but, to study in melbourne, i would be studying for the bachelor of commerce. in sydney i will b studying for bachelor of aerospace engineering. in melbourne (for now), i have my brother there. tat means lodging is paid for. he's over in melbourne. hence he should b able to pay for our rental. in sydney, i have frds there already. she's studying in uni of sydney. if i were to study, it would b the same uni. but knowing the fact that bachelor of aerospace is so much tougher compared to commerce, i was faced with this dilemma... at tis point, all i know is that i have been offered a place in trinity college where i will study my foundation year. for uni of syd foundation studies, i have to go thru an english proficiency test. wonnders will i b able to head pass it... that's not the point. the point is that i have totally no idea which direction to head.... sighs...

things tat i need to think thru:
1) completion of driving...
2) further studies

today is quite a fruitful day. if not becoz my upper studies have already ORD, we will not be able to stand on our 2 feet. finally, my department mate n i can work. but there will b obstacles in our paths. really. be prepared to feel stresss johnson.

am still feeling a little lousy. seems like things mite not go my way actually. things i planned.

that's y i'm listening to some songs which can express my thots.






song of the moment - Yong Qi by Liang Jing Ru

it's a thursday. i would have to say, this weekend is really tough for me. there had been things bothering me. n the funny thing is, i have no idea what r they n how to handle them. Lost in lalang again.

Past weeks been fine. but not this week. n small little things r beginning to bother me. it's to the extent that the place i seek refuge during lunch breaks, during office hours and after work, soon i'm going to leave them alone. not going to intrude on others' privacy. for i no longer belong to this unit. this family. this group of pple whom i used to call them my colleagues. i guess that's the reason y i have lost contact with so many pple, n easily too.

i have a dream. i'm sure many of us have dreams. i haf aspirations. many of them in fact. but i tink my character, i'm too lazy to act upon them. was reprimanded by my mum. or rather advised by her. she told me i should put my act together n go follow thru on the plans i had told her about.

now i wish to have a great weekend. mayb it's too much to ask for. then i shall wish tat i have a good weekend. n i hope whoeva reads this, haf a good wkend too!

here i am, in the ops room. for today i'm the duty personnel for the unit. so i have to wake up early to do some cleaning up. boy m i wasted. for the past 3 nites, i din have the amount of sleep that i hope to have.

America's Next Top Model... wow. the gals din look that great in person but their 1st photo shoot, wow. they looked great!

looks like my driving has to put on hold. will continue once i've finished with my final theory test. oops. BUT i still hope i can get my license by the end of the yr.